Living in Lockdown
Written by Gray
The one thing I have always tried to maintain is balance in my work and in my life outside work and, for the first time in years, I felt like I was getting there. I was taking more time for myself, exercising more, finishing work on time (more or less), and making sure that my free time was actually spent on ME. And then...the lockdown happended, and it threw my perfectly imperfect routine out of the window.
For the first couple of weeks, working from home was ok. I rarely - if at all - worked from home, so this was a novelty. I could get up a bit later than usual as I didn't have to commute. I can wear a t-shirt and trackie bottoms to work. I could possibly get a dog to keep me company! "Oh this won't be so bad at all!" I thought. How wrong I was.
It's coming up to my second month of working from home and I have actually been WORKING - I haven't binge watched box sets or OD'd on Netflix while I checked my work emails a few times during the day. I have been as busy as normal (if not more) and - surprisingly - this has been a blessing. If I wasn't as busy I know that I would be feeling the lockdown even more stifling and depressing than so many people are. But the days and weeks have merged into one, to the point I have to look at my phone a few times to really get it in my head what day or date it is. And on a serious note, I know that I am lucky to be working and working from home - I know so many people have been furloughed or lost their jobs completely or their work means that they have to travel in. I know I am lucky.
Another downside to this is my parents' welfare, as one is in a care home and the other is at home alone. With regards to one I can't see them at all as their care home has stopped visitors since mid-March and this ban will likely continue for another few weeks. For another, it means taking food to the house and leaving it on the doorstep and ringing the bell and moving back the required two metres and making sure that they were ok and that they took the stuff in. Each day that they are both well and there is not a major disaster or catastrophe is a huge relief.
How am I getting through this? By taking it one day at a time. It's a simplistic view but how else can we deal with this? The situation is changing daily and the confusing information we are getting from the government means that this is all we can do. But I speak to my sister daily - it actually feels like I see her a few times a week, and I chat and message family and friends and 'friends' from social media, so it doesn't feel too bad. Zoom/Skype/FaceTime/WhatsApp are god sends. And thank you Channel 5 for repeating 'The Golden Girls' from the start.
But I'm not going to lie and say that I cannot wait for the day when the lockdown is lifted and we can go out and see family and friends without the fear or risk of infecting them or being infected. I want to see my family. I want to see my friends. I want to go to a cinema and eat peanut M&M's and watch a film. I want to go to a bar and have a proper drink (I can't do pub measures at home...it doesn't work. Trust me). I want to go to a club and DANCE. I want to hear a song that I love and get that buzz and rush that only happens when you are out somewhere and you hear a song you love, and you share that momebt with others I know that moment I am with family and friends and we are able to hug them and stand next to them and we can be with each other will be harder than most people realise, and it will be a hugely emotional moment. But until then, I am waiting and hoping that it happens soon but at the right time, so we can savour it without any fear. And until I can hear a song I love and be with my friends and dance until Saturday turns into Sunday (and Sunday turns into Monday...I have a feeling there will be a lot of celebrating when we can do this), I'll be playing music and practising at home. A lot.