Confessions of a Male Shopaholic
Hello, my name is Guy, and I am a shopaholic.
I am not sure if you might have seen the seminal 2009 movie starring Isla Fisher as the young Rebecca Broomwood who gets herself into crippling debt from shopping, falls in love with a rich man (unknowingly) and ends up working out that life really is quite simple and she doesn’t need those things. So she writes about it, then sells all her worldly possessions and gets the guy. Happily ever after.
I have found myself thinking about that film a lot recently, and in reality how similar I am to Rebecca Broomwood. I got myself into some hefty debt between holidays and my own spending habits. I buy things for no reason other than I like them, or feel I need them. I generally have no control, and indeed my husband knows this all too well. I would take to ordering things and having them sent to work. When challenged when wearing an item I would say ‘this old thing’ – he knows me better than that, and who I am I kidding? And why do I need to hide it, clearly I know it isn’t healthy to spend this money? I would often find myself justifying purchases which don’t really have a reason to be justified. I bought a pair or DSquared boxers recently. They were £250 down to £130, yippee I thought. But in reality, when has it ever been right to spend £130 on a pair of boxers? Oh yes, when I spent £250 on a pair of swimming shorts from the same brand, or £150 on a pair from Versace? This can’t be normal?
I am lucky that I have a very good salary, but I don’t enjoy it, as I pay a huge amount off per month on credit card debt and loans as a result of my addictive tendencies. And where has it got me? Have I got joy out of this, or just put myself more months/years of paying off my debts?
Addictive tendencies are a habit most of us have in one shape or form. I have my fair few. Spending money, alcohol, sweets, you name it. I am not one for doing things in moderation.
Coming back to that concept of Joy, we look to the wonderful Marie Kondo. Love or hate her, she has a point. When my husband and I watched her programme on Netflix you would see people pull out the contents of their drawers and you would be ‘how do they have that much stuff’ until you do it yourself! I made sure all my drawers were Marie Kondo friendly. Yes, I got less stuff, but of course I replaced some of it. Getting over addiction takes work.
They say you only need around 14 pieces to make a wardrobe collection. That seems a little extreme to me, but I can see where they are coming from.
So, I need to find a way to moderate my shopping addiction. So, here is how I am thinking of doing it:
- Go Marie Kondo again and review everything in my collection.
- Live by a rule of 10. I can only have a maximum of 10 items of each type in my collection. This isn’t too little, but more importantly isn’t too much so I feel bereft.
- Only keep the items that bring me joy.
- Sell or donate all other items (both helping to reduce debt but also feel positive for helping charity).
I also have my husband to thank. He has banned me from buying any new clothes for 6 months (which roughly coincides with my birthday). I must admit to having diverted my shopping habits elsewhere at first, but I can actually see it working, and I feel better for it. I have been putting old clothes and Lego onto Ebay the past few weeks and have already surpassed £500 in sales. Not bad huh for things that were in the loft or not bringing me joy?
This brings me only my final point. Addiction not only hurts you, but hurts others too. My husband and I are desperate to see more of the world, but we can’t just spend 6 months saving up and then quit our jobs for a year and travel (as our income without debt repayments would allow us to do that). I also looked into mortgages recently and we don’t have freedom for that either. We don’t have the financial freedom because of my inability to control my own impulses. I think it is time I realised I am an adult, and only I can make this happen.
If you have been going through something similar, the Manalogue is here to help. Let’s talk.
